“Don’t look at the tree, don’t look at the tree, don’t look at the…tree.” “Ah”, says Guillaume my guide as we weave, at speed, over roots and rocks on a heart-in-mouth decent from the high slopes of Les Lairon, above the mountain village of Les Gets. I stop in front of a metre-wide tree, my front wheel spinning on the bark, my heart racing, and sweat rolling off the end of my nose. Yesterday as the darkness enveloped the peaks around Morzine I was curled up in my luxury chalet sipping vin rouge. Today, I'm at the top of a mountain on two wheels.
It’s 10.30pm and the dense pine forest is eerily quiet and still but tonight, with every turn of my head, the trees light up like an HD TV – we’re riding in the dark but with two Hope Vision LED Lights strapped to my handlebars, and one to my helmet, it’s like Blackpool illuminations on the trail ahead. We’ve been riding since 4pm using a combination of lifts and pedal power to get us high and away from the crowds. But now it’s time for the final descent.
In 1996 Morzine, in France’s Portes du Soleil ski area, was the first French ski resort to allow mountain bikes on the lifts during the summer months. The bustling town, which sits at 900m, is now an internationally known hotspot for downhill mountain biking. In summer the streets are alive with Lego men (and women) in full-face helmets and body armour cruising around on full-suspension bikes.
On paper, riding a bike downhill doesn’t sound particularly hard. But when you’re on a 30cm-wide path, with gravity ganging up on you, it’s a war of attrition between you, your bike and the ground below your wheels. I’ve spent the afternoon re-learning how to ride on some of Morzine’s least perilous descents, with Guillaume Rosset, a Morzinois local and Moniteur Cyclistes Français.
We start with cornering. Berms (banked corners) are a raved about feature of downhill mountain bike trails. To me they’re a potential death trap. “Adjust your speed before you hit the turn, keep light on the bike and move to the outside edge of the track. Now lean the bike over”, says Guillaume. “Lean the bike over…Lean”, he shouts. “Aghhhh”, I reply through clenched teeth pulling hard on the breaks and grimacing.
“Now keep low on your bike and push your weight through your outside foot. It’s like skiing”, shouts Guillaume, who’s standing a safe distance away from my careering front wheel. “Look ahead at your exit point”, he adds. On this occasion I choose my own exit point - the grass, stage left - but with tips and tricks thrown my way throughout the afternoon I start to progress.
Downhill mountain bike trails are graded from green to black, like ski slopes, although it’s hard to compare the greens you’d find at a UK trail centre with the ones here. Using the main Pleney lift from the centre of Morzine town, and some thigh-burning climbing, we’ve tackled the 5km-long La pistes des Ecureils (with a vertical drop of 450m) and The Shore - a short blue that drops 265m in 1.7km.
Now, after a traditional mountain dinner of raclette prepared by Guillaume’s mother at their remote family chalet (I figured eating my body weight in cheese might help with the downhill aspect), and sinking a vino or two (it would be rude not to), we venture back onto the trails in the dark. 
A little Dutch courage goes a long way and we set off on a local’s-only route home from the 1500m-high chalet. The speed winds up and up, and the adrenaline kicks in. I focus intently on the light beam ahead as we roll over rocks, roots, down two-foot drops and slide round corners. It’s like Wacky Races in the dark. And as the forest whizzes past on fast forward, I chuckle like Mutley. We hit a fire trail and without the obstacles to negotiate it’s a chance to go even faster. “Watch out for cows,” comes a shout from the dark, as we go hell for leather down another section of track with electric fences either side.
Back on the main road, and in a final kick for home, Guillaume clocks 53kmph on the speed check into Morzine. We’ve ridden for over five hours. My legs are like jelly and my jaws are sore from the teeth chattering bumps. Like cowboys after a crazy roundup, we regroup and roll back into town, lights blazing whooping and hollering, and hole up at the bar. It’s been a wild ride.
Getting to Morzine
DFDS Seaways (dfdsseaways.co.uk; 0871 574 7235) sails from Dover to Calais and Dover to Dunkirk up to 44 times a day. A return ticket from Dover to Calais for a car and up to four passengers costs from £29 each way. The drive from Calais to Morzine is 552 miles and takes around ten hours.
When to go
The lifts in Morzine are open from early June to early September.
Where to stay
VIP Ski open their winter chalets during the summer months. Prices at VIP CLUB Alaska, Morzine, start from £165 per room for 3 nights (sleeps up to four in a family room) bed and breakfast. Chalet Alaska sleeps a maximum of 16 guests in seven rooms. VIP SKI 0844 557 3119; www.vip-chalets.com.
Who to ride with
Activities Morzine (+33 (0)6 85 02 37 09; activites-morzine.com/fr) offers night mountain bike rides from €50 per person including tuition and evening meal.
Useful contacts
Morzine Tourist Board: morzine-avoriaz.com
Mountain biking information can be found at vtt-morzine.com
Top tips
Hire mountain bikes, helmets and body armour in the resort, rather than bringing your own. Try Felix Ski (felixski.fr; +33 (0) 450 79 07 97). A Morzine MTB (VTT) one-day lift pass costs €22.70 (Children: 5-15 yrs €1700 / Young: 16-19 yrs / Adult: 20-63 yrs / Senior: 64 yrs +.
